Miami Heat


Wrestlemania is almost impossible to put into words. There is so much to take in. The spectacle, the matches, the crowd, the atmosphere. Ultimately, it is WWE hitting the reset button and initiating a new year of programming.

Wrestlemania 27 was not nearly as good as it was made out to be. There were a lot of fans feeling let down after last years event. It all felt so half-assed, thrown together and poorly executed minus the Triple H vs Undertaker Match.

Wrestlemania 28 was a thousand percent better.

This isn’t to say that Wrestlemania 28 didn’t have its down times. Many people are upset about Daniel Bryan and Sheamus. Despite my sincerest efforts, I simply cannot muster up and explanation. Hopefully, desperately hopefully, WWE has something in mind and this wasn’t just Vince McMahon giving a giant middle finger to the IWC.

However, I would say, Wrestlemania 28 had greater peaks than it had darker valleys. Jericho and Punk definitely put on a show. This match was not the five star classic some had come to expect, but their performance was by no means a letdown. It was entertaining, back and forth and the closing five minutes of reversals and tapout teases was extraordinarily executed. I’d have gone with a different finish, had Punk lose and then have him walk into his hometown of Chicago as the challenger next month.

Triple H, Undertaker and Shawn Michaels reminded us that wrestling can be one hell of thing when it is done correctly. A nearly flawless match that absolutely lived up to whatever hype was drummed up in the past few weeks. That match has a series of moments (Triple H jumping back when Undertaker sat up, Shawn Michaels pleading with both men, the Superkick / Pedigree combination, blood, spit and eats) that should, and will, live on in the legacy of Wrestlemania. What this match did leave us with though, is three important questions: Was this the Undertakers last match? Is Triple H down for good? Was this the last gasp of the attitude era?

There were so many questions, doubts, backstage rumors, on screen bombs and chaotic experiences leading up to John Cena vs the Rock. Did this match payoff? Absolutely. Understandably there are some upset John Cena fans, but as someone who dislikes John Cena (his character, not the Make-A-Wish champion) I think this is the absolute best thing that could happen to him. This will force Cena to go to new places, assuming that he sells this loss and doesn’t come out giggling tonight like he often does after a big loss. If this is handled properly, John Cena could come out of this shinning. Also, no one should associate the Rock winning to the Rock not giving John Cena some amazing shine and Legendary rub.

The Rock proved he could still go. John Cena proved he could hold his own against the greatest superstar of all time. This is absolutely a win win situation that WWE can make into something even more amazing. Remember, folks, there’s always the possibility that this is a best of three series. I certainly hope not, I’d rather this was a one time thing.

Wrestlemania 28 was definitely a great show worth watching and paying attention to. The challenge for WWE coming out of this, which could be a fantastic thing, is to build new stars so that next years roster is full of young talent rather than returning names and old stalwarts. It’s time for a changing of the guard, but don’t be surprised if they wait until Wrestlemania 30 to make the switch. Next year they may want to cash in on that New Jersey, New York attitude with some old names. We know the Rock will be there, speculation points to Brock Lesnar and don’t forget a beer drinking, ass kicking, mudhole stomping guy from Texas with some gas left in the tank who might want to make a last impression.

Wrestlemania 28, as a whole, did what it was supposed to do. It reinvigorated, and for the most part, it paid off what it has been hyping. I rate the event an eight out of a possible ten. The eighteen second world title match kept this away from being a nine. Oh, and did I forget to mention, Good ol’ Jim Ross showed why he is, was , and always will be, the best announcer in the business.

Monday Night Raw has all the potential to be absolutely amazing tonight. Maybe WWE will show us that they don’t just pull out all of the stops for Wrestlemania.

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Elimination Lamer

WWE’s Elimination Chamber usually provides fans with two exciting, brutal matches where top stars from each brand step up and challenge for the WWE and World Heavyweight Titles. They are matches full of exciting spots where the superstars pull out all the stops. It’s rare that a chamber match fails to entertain, or at least, make the pay-per-view worth watching.

Last year’s Elimination Chamber matches saw Wade Barrett, Big Show, Drew McIntyre, Kane, Rey Mysterio and Edge from Smackdown and R-Truth, Randy Orton, Sheamus, John Morrison, CM Punk and John Cena from Raw. Pretty big names and fairly exciting matches, certainly entertaining and worth putting fifty dollars down.

2012 proves to be much less promising. The Raw chamber match will involve WWE Champion CM Punk defending against Chris Jericho, The Miz, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston. This isn’t a bad lineup, although it is lacking somewhat in star power. Punk and Jericho are the two big names. The Miz, despite his previous run with the WWE title has been relegated to little more than a midcard jobber, for the time being. Dolph Ziggler was in the midst of a hot run when he lost to CM Punk at the Royal Rumble in a burial and then came into the Royal Rumble match to get his ass handed to him by Kharma, he hasn’t been the same since. R-Truth is clearly a mid-card comedy act. Sure, Truth has skill in the ring and can probably make it look good, but he certainly isn’t treated that way. Kofi, well Kofi has been branded a midcarder ever since his potential feud with Randy Orton was put on the back burner, Kofi has never full rebounded.

This match could be great and exciting, but does anyone truly believe that anyone other than Punk or Jericho has any chance of winning this match? If you’re constructing a match where the point is supposed to be that anyone could win, you might want to either fill the chamber with people the fans could believe might actually win, or actually push some of your participants so they feel like more of a threat! (I know, WWE, pushing is a sin for young talent.)

The match will probably still be great, but a lot of the fun is wondering who could walk out with the title. There’s always one or two people you know won’t win, but usually the chamber has three or four guys you think could take it. This match lacks that probability of a surprise finish.

So, the Raw chamber is looking all right and shows some potential. Turning our attention the Smackdown Chamber, it doesn’t take long before the head shaking begins. The Smackdown chamber consists of: World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Big Show, Great Khali and Santino. That’s right, Santino. Daniel Bryan has been booked as the run-away, scared heel who wins through nefarious means. Wade Barrett was receiving a nice push, but Randy Orton pretty much put an end to that. Big Show is.. well who knows what is going on with him from week to week? He went from feuding with Daniel Bryan to performing in random matches. Great Khali and Santino. A giant joke and a normal sized joke. Putting these two in the match immediately eliminates two participants as being likely to win. More on this later. Cody Rhodes has been extremely impressive in his Intercontinental Title run, but it seems incredibly unlikely that he gets the belt. Ultimately we’re left with a high probability that Bryan retains, and the rest of the guys just bounce around. There isn’t even anyone in there who is known for showing the flash and flare that comes along with Chamber matches. Is the Smackdown roster truly this shallow?

Khali and Santino. Here are two guys who haven’t been taken seriously in years and have been relegated to being jokes, literally jokes. These guys being in the Chamber match is not only an insult to people who are going to put their hard earned money down to buy this PPV, but also to other people on the roster who don’t get the opportunity to step up in their place. I can’t, for the life of me, understand the logic behind this. I could, however, see this being a curveball where something reminiscent of Edge occurs with a different wrestler (A returning Alberto Del Rio or Christian, maybe Mark Henry) assaults one of these guys on his way to the ring and takes his place. That, I could buy.

Either way, this years Elimination Chamber seems to be lacking something that they have had in previous years. Aside from the chamber matches, we’ve got John Cena feuding with Kane in an Ambulance match. As much as I enjoy Kane, this storyline has been so silly and full of so much overacting that it’s hard to take it seriously. Simultaneously, it’s hard to imagine Cena losing on his way into his Wrestlemania match with the Rock. Ultimately, does anyone really care what happens in this match?

There is a Diva’s title match on this show with Beth Phoenix defending the title against Tamina Snuka. This could really be an entertaining match, assuming WWE is willing to give it more than five minutes of time. This seems unlikely, but a guy can hope.

So that’s Elimination Chamber, 2012. It really speaks volumes about the current state of WWE. Nothing feels as special or important as it should, nothing feels like it is must-see TV. Nothing feels like it is at a place where it will blow your mind. The Royal Fumble started the year off on a slow step and if Elimination Chamber fails to deliver, the Road to Wrestlemania could be a detour.

Winning Predictions: RAW Chamber: Chris Jericho. Smackdown Chamber: Daniel Bryan. Cena vs Kane: Cena. Beth Phoenix vs Tamina: Beth Phoenix.

Monday Night Raw – July 11

Tonight RAW is LIVE from Boston.

Raw opens with CM Punk walking out live in front of the crowd with a megaphone.  Punk gets in the ring and sits down to address the crowd.  He asks if he has everyone’s attention.  He decides to recap what happened with his suspension.  He says he got in trouble for some things he said, not because he said his contract is ending, or because he said he is going to defeat John Cena at Money in the Bank, or because  when Vince dies the company will goes to his idiotic daughter or son-in-law whom he referred to as a doofus.  He says he got in trouble, basically, because he has the balls to say things that nobody else has the balls to say.  Things like this company is filled with a parade of shameless ass kissers.  He says not only is he reinstated, not only is his match with Cena back on, but he brought backup just in case they cut his microphone off (he says this into the megaphone.)  The crowd begins cheering “CM Punk, CM Punk.”

Punk says the reason he has a microphone now is because Vince desperately wants to sign him to a very long, very lucrative contract now.  He says it’s funny because all he’s ever really wanted is the microphone, using his voice is power.  In his hands it is a pipe bomb.  McMahon finally sees that he is the hottest property in the industry today.  He says he made WWE socially relevant, not these fans, but the real world where the WWE gets mentions because he is speaking his mind or because somebody died.  He says ESPN wants him, Jimmy Kimmel wants him and he is a youtube sensation.  He says it is funny that he has one foot out the door and suddenly Vince wants to give him everything he wants.  He says if Vince had been treating him nice for the past five years he wouldn’t have so much to say now.  He says Vince wants him to sit down and have a man on man contract, but he says tonight he wants to have the first ever live contract negotiation in the ring.  Maybe he’ll sign, maybe he won’t.  Maybe Vince McMahon will have to join the CM Punk “kiss my ass” club.  John Cena’s music hits.

CM Punk says “hey everybody, it’s John Cena.”  He thanks Cena for getting him reinstated to a job he doesn’t want anyway, he thanks him for giving him everything that he wanted.  He will beat Cena at Money in the Bank and change the title because it has been too ugly for too long.  He says he will beat Cena and he will leave.  He says Vince will never really fire him, like how he got fired a while back and it only lasted for a week.  Punk asks if Cena would like to say something, he offers the megaphone.  Cena says they’ve been waiting for five years to say Punk actually has balls.  Cena says all he hears is how Punk is walking out of Money in the Bank with the title, but Cena says he isn’t a pushover.  Cena says Punk is not the best wrestler in this company, Punk says he is the best in the world.  Cena says Punk said he smiles and prances for the company, but he does it because he loves it and he has the title because he is the best and he deserves it.  Cena says Punk is not the best wrestler, Triple H, Edge, Batista, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, even the late Eddie Guerrero thought they were the best and everyone thought Cena couldn’t hang with them but they were all wrong.  Cena says he doesn’t care if Punk stays or goes but he is coming to Money in the Bank to whip Punk’s ass.  The anonymous GM chimes in now.

The anonymous GM says Vince is on his way to negotiate with CM Punk but since this could be Cena’s last night on Raw we should see a match, he tells Cena he is competing in a very special match next.  Punk backs up the entrance ramp and says “Good luck.”

CM Punk is money right now, the crowd is hot for him and frankly listening to his recent promos have been the best thing about Raw.  The crowd seems mixed on Cena but the one thing for sure is we are all tired of this anonymous GM garbage. 

[Commercial break 1]

@bitterforsweet: Punk with a megaphone. This is gonna be gooooood. 
@smarkingout: “Do not turn my microphone off, thank you.” I FUCKING LOVE YOU! 
@thatdariachick: Punk doing his Jimmy Hart impersonation? 
@SullivanBooks: The real story coming out of this promo is the crowd reaction. WOW, they are so pro CM Punk. Loudest they’ve been since Stone Cold’s heyday.
@FatFinley: This CM Punk promo is so great, work or not its gold 
@Lagana: 5 years ago in Boston – the “suits” decided that Hardcore Holly was too tough to tap out to CM Punk in Boston

We return from commercial and the ring announcer says the next match is a handicapped match.

Match 1:  Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga vs John Cena (handicap match): [9 minutes and 56 seconds]
Otunga starts off in the ring against Cena.  Cena takes the upperhand locking Otunga in a headlock but Otunga makes it to the ropes and then tags in McGillicutty on the break.  Michael gets Cena in a hammerlock but Cena reverses that into a headlock.  Both opponent step outside the ring for the time being.

[Commercial break 2]

We return from commercial to find McGillicutty has Cena in a headlock.  They show us that during the commercial Otunga threw Cena into the barricade.  Michael gets Cena in the corner and stomps him, then Otunga takes a shot while the referee is distracted.  Otunga gets tagged in, hits Cena a few times but Cena hits him with a snap suplex.  Both men are down, Otunga tags in McGillicutty who then gets two flying shoulders and a five knuckle shuffle.  However, Otunga hits Cena with an inverted atomic drop and McGillicutty dropkicks him.  Two count but a kickout from Cena.  McGillicutty puts Cena on the top rope and goes for a superplex but Cena fights it off with a few headbutts.  Cena goes for and lands a leg drop and then locks in the STF but Otunga breaks it up.  Both men now double team Cena in the corner.  Cena gets out of it and lands the AA on McGillicutty and throws Otunga over the top rope and grabs the pin in 9:56.

@AprilAnn_: HOW IS THIS MATCH SPECIAL?
@thatdariachick: Gee, and here I am thinking when you’re Tag Team Champion, you actually defend them against other teams.
@BritBoJangles: I’ve seen Cena do like 3 moves I’m sure he won’t remember how to do next week!
@InfamousMarv: If David Otunga pins Cena, I will buy tickets for anyone who is going to MITB
@carriesparkle: “CENA SOMEHOW SURVIVES!” Yes, who knew?

[Commercial break 3]

We return from commercial with a bird’s eyeview of Boston.  Cole and Lawler begin talking about Mark Henry and Big Show, they air a promo video showing Mark Henry and all of the carnage he has been causing lately.  Afterward we see Dolph Ziggler talking to Vickie Guerrero backstage.  They’re discussing what Dolph will say to Mr McMahon when he arrives later.  Vickie does a comic impersonation of Vince.  Drew McIntyre comes over and does an impersonation also.  Dolph says if Vince doesn’t recognize what he has in him then he should be the chairman of AARP.  All three of them begin making fun of Vince he who then walks on screen.  Vince refers to McIntyre and Ziggler as two of his fastest rising starts, he says they deserve a spotlight.  So they will team up tonight in a handicap match tonight against the Big Show.  A backstage interviewer comes over and asks Vince what will happen tonight between he and Punk and that the entire world wants to know.  Vince says the entire world can go to hell.

Twitter went down at this point so tweets will be lacking until it comes back online.

We see Kelly Kelly walking backstage with her Diva’s title, she will be in action next. 

[Commercial break 4]

We return from commercial to see a recap of Kelly winning the diva’s title from Brie Bella last month.  Melina is in the ring, the Bella twins are on commentary.

Match 2:  Kelly Kelly vs Melina (Divas title): [1 minute and 40 seconds]
The match begins with Melina taking total control.  She wraps Kelly’s arms around her throat and presses her knee into her back.  Kelly fights back, whips Melina into the corner and then gives her the stinkface followed by a neck breaker.  Melina kicks out at two.  Melina kicks Kelly, then misses another kick and gets hit with a fameasser and Kelly wins in 1:40.

After the match the Bellas come in and tell Kelly Kelly she needs to eat some more and that one meal a month isn’t healthy.  Kelly attacks them but the Bellas kick her ass.  Eve comes running out and fights the Bellas as well.  The Bellas leave Eve and Kelly Kelly laid out in the ring.

@ringsiderants: Melina is still employed?
@Mrs619:  If Melina loses, all is over for her. 
@GlamHartDelRio: You don’t know how much ot irks me to have HER walk around with that title… Ughh 

We see the Miz walking backstage.

[Commercial break 5]

We return from commercial and see a recap of Riley pinning the Miz on last weeks broadcast of Raw.  Miz comes out, climbs in the ring and sits on top of a ladder.  He says there is no better view than looking down on the crowd.  He says he is used to being on top, to being the best, to being the Miz.  He says he knows the smell and the taste, he has been there before like his opponents never have.  Some have been close, but close doesn’t make them winners or champions.  He says he knows what it takes to be a champion.  He says everyone will learn why he is the Miz and he is AWEE – Jack Swaggers music interupts him.  Swagger says Riley must have hit Miz in the head too many times, he reminds the Miz that he has one Money in the Bank, cashed in and become a world champion.  Miz asks if you cash in and win and no one remembers, does it really matter?  Evan Bourne comes out now and says he is tired of hearing about what they’ve done, he is going to climb the ladder to win money in the bank.  Kofi’s music hits now.  Kofi says they are going to put their bodies and careers on the line, anything can happen, anybody can win and if he wins it isn’t going to be because of what he does or what he says tonight, it is going to be because of what he does Sunday.  He says Edge had to retire because of injury from matches like this.

R-Truth comes walking out and says the conspiracy against him continues.  Everyone talking about Punk and Cena, they must have forgotten that two weeks ago he beat John Cena.  He threw the WWE champ through a table.  He says he has “acrophobia” and he is afraid of heights, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because he is afraid of them too.  He says the briefcase better not have a spider in it.  The briefcase is gonna get got.  At this point, Alex Riley’s music hits and he comes running out.  Miz hops out of the ring and runs off.  Now Alberto Del Rio’s music comes on.  Del Rio drives out and says he shouldn’t have to be in this match, he should just be the number one contender.  He asks why, but then he says he will tell us why.  He says John Cena is afraid of Alberto Del Rio.  He says he is going to teach each of them a lesson about destiny in six days.  Now the anonymous GM chimes in.  The GM says Del Rio has a point and since six of the competitors are in the ring, they should have a match.  Miz, Swagger and R-Truth will team up against Evan Bourne, Alex Riley and Kofi Kingston.. right now!

[Commercial break 6]

@Vixentye: Riley = a modern day Lex Luger…. yuck 
@kenady16: did not crash twitter calm your vagina cole 
@WrestleSarcasm: Punk and Miz are the best talkers in the past 5 years in my opinion and are in my best talkers of all time list. 
@nuer0tica: Oh god no. Noooooooo no. Don’t give Bourne a mic. I cannot take him seriously when he talks. 
@dasharpshooters: R-Truth’s mess ups are always the best 
@thatdariachick: FINALLY! THE ONE WHO REALLY MATTERS! ALBERTO!!!!

Match 3:  Miz / Swagger / Truth vs Bourne / Riley / Kofi: [10 minutes and 39 seconds]
The match apparently began during the commercial break.  Swagger tags in the Miz who begins stomping Bourne who was already down on the mat.  Miz pounds Bourne and runs him down with a kick to the face for a two count.  Miz tags in R-Truth who comes in and slams Bourne down and then lands a legdrop and then puts him in a headlock.  He slams Bourne again and gets a two count.  Bourne lands a leaping knee to Truth’s face and makes the tag to Kofi who jumps into the ring and begins running down R-Truth with several flying manuevers.  He then lands the boom drop on him.  Kofi sets up for the trouble in paradise but Swagger interferes allowing Truth to hit Kofi from behind.  Kofi goes to the top rope and lands a cross body for the cover but Miz breaks the count.  R-Truth clotheslines Kofi, who goes through the middle rope instead of over the top rope.

[Commercial break 7]

We return from commercial to see Miz covering Kofi for a two count.  Miz tags in Kofi and they double suplex Kofi, Truth covers for a two count and then puts Kofi in a headscissor.  Truth punches Kofi, controlling the match.  Boring chants are now beginning in the crowd.  Kofi lands a double DDT on Swagger and Truth, all three men are down in the ring.  Kofi makes the tag to Riley who spears Swagger and then lands a few elbows on him followed by a spine buster.  Riley hiptosses the Miz into the ring but then Truth hits Riley.  Evan Bourne kicks Truth out of the ring, Swagger goes for the Swaggerbomb but Riley kicks him in the face and covers for the pin at 10:39.

After the match the Miz lands the skull crushing finale on the Riley, Kofi throws him out of the ring, R-Truth knocks him out, Bourne goes for air bourne but Del Rio shows up and pushes Bourne off the top rope and slides a ladder into the ring.  He hits everybody with it and then throws it at the Miz who falls to the floor holding his elbow.

@WrestlingCritic: this should be good. six man tag.
@DAsharpshooters: MITB matches have not been the same since Shelton Benjamin left. Not looking forward to the match at the PPV
@WrestlingFemme: R-Truth has the same hairstyle as Roger on the early seasons of Sister, Sister. Didn’t they call him SpiderHead or something? 
@CarrieSparkle: Hey, watch a programme with Big Show! Dudes, I don’t even want to watch a WWE programme with Big Show. 
@HacksawJDuggan: Look what they did to IRS’s briefcase!
@IAmWWEman: Good tease and build up for the MiTB match! Great RAW so far!

They air a recap of Punk talking two weeks ago and Vince suspending him last week, plus the Cena confrontation from last week.
Dolph Ziggler’s music hits and he comes out with Vickie and Drew.

[Commercial break 8]

Match 4:  Drew McIntyre / Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie vs Mark Henry (Handicap match): [1 minute 54 seconds]
Dolph is in the ring but immediately tags in McIntyre who Big Show throws into the ring, he chops Ziggler off the apron.  Show then begins working over McIntyre who seems to be here just to get beaten up.  Big Show mows him down with a clothesline and then slams him down.  Ziggler stays outside the ring hiding.  Big Show throws Drew over the top rope.  He throws Drew into the barricade, Drew begins leaving but Big Show runs him down and begins stomping him near the entrance ramp but gets counted out at 1:54

After the match Big Show throws Drew into the WWE emblem up on the stage and then stares out into the crowd.  Big Show grabs Drew and goes for the chokeslam off the stage but Mark Henry runs out and sends all three men tumbling off the stage.  Both men are laying where they landed and several referees show up to see if they’re ok.

[Commercial break 9]

@ImAMelFo: Y’all ain’t gonna believe this but Drew McIntyre is on #RAW !! Lol. The world must be ending tomorrow.
@BryanIsWWE: The Big Show wins, no doubt
@BreakingKayfabe: Drew on the mic? I’ll take it. I forgot how great he is when he has something to do besides meander around with the Feminist Icon 
@Neur0tica: I know they’re both heels and all, but Dolph vs. Drew would have been fucking amazing. Why does Show have to ruin things all the time? 
@WWEGames: Mark Henry just took out…EVERYONE!!!

We return from commercial to see Mark Henry walking away from the place he fell from.  Lawler and Cole tell us how Money in the Bank works.  They air some highlights from passed Money in the Bank matches.

We see Vince McMahon and CM Punk walking backstage.  Their contract negotiation is next.

[Commercial break 10]

We return from commercial with Vince McMahon making his entrance.  He doesn’t seem to like the crowd reaction so he walks backstage and comes back out until they cheer louder for him.  Now he does his typical stride wiggling his arms and legs.  He has a folder in his hand.  He points to a Zack Ryder sign and shakes hands with a little girl.  He shakes hands with a guy at ringside and claps him on the shoulder and then enters the ring.  He grabs a mic and says “I’m Vince McMahon, damn it, let’s hear it!”  He says he will not be joining the CM Punk “kiss my ass” club.  Vince says contracts should not be negotiated in public, but that’s what Punk wants and so he’ll get it.  He then invites Punk to come out.  He wonders out loud what CM stands for.

Punk’s music hits and he comes walking out with his own folder, imitating Vince’s walk.  He gets in the ring and refuses to shake Vince’s hand.  Vince sits down at the table, Punk picks up his microphone.  Vince says Punk’s lawyers have been over the paperwork enough times and he is sure everything is in order.  Punk says he expected McMahon to be wearing a Cena t-shirt tonight but clearly he has no faith in him.  McMahon says he wants him to sign this contract because he couldn’t live with himself if in fact he somehow won the title on the last day of his contract.  Vince calls him Phil.  He asks if that is ok.  Punk says “by all means.”  Punk says his lawyers looked over the contract and it wasn’t up to par and he had them draw up a new one, all it needs is Vince’s signature.  He says he added some new perks.  Punk asks if the crowd wants it to go down in public and they all cheer.

Punk asks if he wants to hear some of the new perks, Vince says “don’t push me.”  Punk says provision one is that he gets to push him, he then shoves Vince twice.  Vince looks angry.  Punk says, for a superstar such as himself, he wants his own jet.  He doesn’t want Vince’s jet because it smells, he wants his own.  Number two, his face will be on the titantron, the turnbuckles, cups, shoes, socks, everything.  He wants Vince to bring back the WWE ice cream bars.  He says he just made him a million dollars in ice cream sales.  He wants WWE Studios to begin producing CM Punk the movie, you can call it the Chaperone 2 except it will be funny and successful.  Also, John Cena vs the Rock at Wrestlemania can still happen but he wants his own match to be the main event.  Punk says the last thing is that Vince must apologize to him for suspending him last week, for being one of the biggest hypocrits he’s ever seen in his entire life.  As far as the anti-bullying campaign, Vince is one of the biggest bullies he’s ever met and he will apologize.  Vince shakes his head “no.”  Punk says he has had very talented friends who have been fired from this company, Vince says they deserved it.  Punk says Vince doesn’t know what makes a superstar in 2011, he doesn’t know what people want.  He says Vince wants to punish people for liking wrestling, for firing guys like Colt Cabana and Luke Gallows.  He says he is CM Punk and he is the voice of the voiceless.

Vince asks him to calm down, and just to sign the contract, he asks that they both be gentlemen.  Punk asks if they should be gentlemen or if Vince should apologize.  The crowd cheers.  Punk tells Vince to sign the contract and apologize to spare his company any further embarassment.  Vince says he wants to just get it over with.  Punk flips the table over and Vince stands up.  The crowd cheers “We want wrestling” and Vince says he doesn’t give a damn.  Punk says that’s the problem, Vince doesn’t give a damn and he cares too damn much.  Punk says Boston wants to hear an apology.  Vince says “Sorry.”  Punk doesn’t look impressed and says “What?”  Vince McMahon screams “I apologize you son of a bitch!”  Punk cheers and says that is better than winning the world title three times.  Punk tells him to pick up the contract and sign it before the stock plummets some more.  Vince opens the folder, grabs the pen (meanwhile a “Colt Cabana” chant breaks out.)  Before Vince can sign, however, John Cena’s music hits.

Cena tells Punk the fans love him, and they’ll love him in Chicago, the night he walks out.  Cena says if Vince wants to sign it he won’t tell him what to do.  Cena makes fun of both of them, and says he hates McMahon too but he shows up for work everyday because if they disagree the people still paid a lot of money to be there and they are the ones that take it on the chin.  He tells Punk he is the biggest hypocrit of them all.  Cena says the Rock said he’d never leave again, he then calls Vince “dragon breath”, but he knows Punk isn’t the Rock but he is making a ridiculous list of demands because all he wants to do is take the title and walk out.  He says he is CM Punk and he admires that he walks to the beat of his own drum but he has lost sight of everything.

Punk says he hasn’t lost sight, he says he is going to take that and walk out, because he doesn’t fit that mold.  He said earlier Cena said Guerrero and the greats said Cena couldn’t hang, now Cena is doing the same thing to him.  He says here we are in Boston and next week they’ll be in Chicago, he says Cena is the one who has lost sight.  He tells Cena thinks he’s the underdog just like all the local sports teams, he says John’s father and wife are there, and Punk says Cena is the 10 time WWE champion, the champ is here, you like the redsocks, like Boston, are no longer the underdog, he is what he hates, he has become the New York Yankees.  Cena hits Punk, Punk rolls out of the ring and grabs the contract.  He walks off and says Cena is Steinbrenner, he might as well be Jeter.  He screams that he is the underdog.  Vince looks pissed.

Punk grabs a microphone and sits down on the ramp and says everybody wants to hear what he wants to say.  He says he’s glad he just punches him because it hit him like a bolt of lightning why he doesn’t want to be here anymore.  He says he’s tired of Cena, he’s just tired.  He says Vince, John, say goodbye to the WWE, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk.  He stands up and rips his contract in half.  He says he’ll go be the best in the world somewhere else.  He then makes the “you can’t see me” gesture.  The show goes off the air there.

@nodqdotcom: Here we go! McMahon/Punk in the ring in moments. Will NoDQ crash again?
@carriesparkle: I hope Punk talks about Back to the Future again. Even if nobody else noticed but me earlier 
@TheRealXPac: Im looking forward to this. Vince is over. 
@ZackRyder: Vince McMahon knows I exist 
@Smarkingout: Oh Punk, you make my pants tight. 
@PhoenixLives_: CM Punk vs Vince EPIC!!!!!  
@RaveHound: I ❤ CM Punk so damn much right now it’s not even funny 
@neur0tica:  “WE WANT WRESTLING” CHANT. I approve. 
@Smarkingout: Are you fucking kidding me? No! Get the fuck out of the ring you mother fucker! 
@RingsideRants: John Cena just ruined this entire fucking thing 
@WrestlingFemme: Does that mean no WWE Ice Cream Bars?! 

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